Lidl charged me PLN 65. I bought it and I’m at a loss for words

After all, it is small, light, charged via USB-C and has as many as 300 built-in games. Just a cool gadget for a gamer, right? Well, no. Retro Slim Console from Mad Monkey is a device that is much less fun than a primitive brick game. It also has worse games. So if you’re planning to buy someone a gift quickly, don’t let it be this device. Unless you don’t like that person.

When it comes to appearance, it looks surprisingly good: we get large buttons and low thickness, which means that we practically don’t feel that we have the console in our pants. Here we get a small box measuring 10.1 × 6.5 × 0.8 cm. Every smartphone compares to it. The USB-C port, which can be found on the side edge of the device, also attracts attention. Quite unusually and apparently it may affect ergonomics when we play while charging. However, no one is likely to decide to do so. I doubt that anyone would be interested in the game enough to play on cable.

However, this is only the first look. After contact with the equipment, the spell breaks. Although I would like to emphasize at the beginning that the screen seems quite nice, the image presented on it is not necessarily so. What draws attention is the fact that two layers of protective foil are glued to it. Why was it decided to make such a move? I have no idea. However, removing one when it gets scratched and switching to another one will significantly extend the life of the device. So I count this as a big plus.

Let’s start with the rough edges. While the back is nicely rounded, the front sticks unpleasantly into your hands. A simple chamfer could have solved the problem, but it was missing. It is not possible to hold the device comfortably, and not because of its thickness. As for the buttons: they are extremely hard and their switches are equally hard. They feel like a punishment and it’s really hard to enjoy the game when the controller is so clunky. Turning on the device itself can also be problematic because the switch requires the use of a fingernail and is very difficult to operate.

• Dimensions: 10.1 × 6.5 × 0.8 cm
• Battery: 200 mAh
• Connector: USB-C
• Screen: color

I have already scolded Biedronka twice for selling consoles with pirated games. So I wanted to write a similar text about Lidl. The problem is that among these 300 Retro Slim Console games, we won’t find a single pirate and… that’s not good news. The included titles are really mediocre and clunky. It’s really hard to get any gameplay out of them. They look like simple homebrew games created for the sake of quantity, and not for deriving any entertainment or pleasure.

What’s more, many of them repeat the same motif, but with slightly different graphics. I’m not even going to estimate how many games there are actually on the device, but about several dozen. None of which is even remotely fun.

At one point I even thought I had found something cool, an arkanoid called Diamond. Unfortunately, the control failed: the paddle moves sluggishly and, despite its best intentions, it is unable to catch up with the ball when it accelerates. We are therefore losing a game we had no chance of winning, which is frustrating. It’s a pity, because this one title aroused hope. The rest is digital garbage, as can be seen at first glance.

The manufacturer claims that it has only 200 mAh. Still, I didn’t manage to unload it in one evening. The problem is that the best this equipment can do is drain it. Still, I would count it as a plus. When it comes to charging, it is completely invisible, as is the battery level.

If you want to buy someone some cheap gaming equipment, it’s better to buy him a brick game. It will be a much better and cheaper choice. Both in terms of ergonomics and the titles offered. Yes, maybe racing and arkanoid look much better on Retro Slim Console, but they are practically unplayable on this console. And not because of the high level of difficulty, but because of hopeless buttons and sluggish response to them, which cannot keep up with the gameplay.